Friday, May 1, 2009

I See Defective People

{a variation of "I see dead people" from the movie "The Sixth Sense"} Today I got really bummed out because a human being has let me down once again. I won't go into details because it's really not about me, but someone close to me who is being hurt. I want to stick up for this person and really tell the other person off, but it's really not my job. Not right now anyways. It's hard to just stand by and watch someone else I love suffer though. So in my mind, I started thinking of all the faults of this person who is hurting someone close to me. And I started to really build up some intense negative feelings. I have a tendency to see defective people. Instead of concentrating on other people's good traits, sometimes I get in a tunnel vision and can only think of times when the person exhibits less-than-stellar behavior. It makes me miserable, and I know it. I do keep lists of things I appreciate, or am thankful for. So it's not like I don't realize it. But my default tendency is to look for people's faults. So today I was chatting with a friend online, when she said, "You're the one who didn't want to be a hermit", referring to my blog post earlier in the year, in which I said I wanted to be more social. But then people let me down. So in reply, I said, "D*mn you for reading my blog!" and she said "D*mn you for blogging!" At which time I started laughing really hard. I wish sometimes I have a magic pill that I can take and see everyone from a rosy angle. Life would be easier for me then. Sigh. Because of the events earlier in the day, I was really looking forward to going to the gym after work and pounding the weights. I only wished that we have a punching bag there too. For about 45 minutes, there was nobody at the gym but me. I listened to NPR, did 30 minutes of cardio, and the whole weight circuit, plus abs, and some free weights for biceps and triceps. I felt so much better mentally afterwards. Weird how that works, the connection between mental and physical.


  1. OH....Christine, this happens to me too, but not quite so badly has it happens to my husband :) Good is really, really hard for him to see :) My retired pastor's wife once told me about an issue she had with a particular person that ALWAYS just irked her and she made a commitment to God to, EVERY TIME she *said or thought* something negative about that person to catch herself and come up with 2 positives (even if it were that her shoes were nice and her hair was combed), and she said it worked...I have never tried it, but it sure SOUNDS LIKE good advice :)

    Cool to see you at the gym!! :) My work has no gym...but the maze we have to get through to get from the back to the pizza oven and back out to tables, we refer to as the *employee fitness program.*

  2. Oh, these are real feelings and I'm glad you made it you could train your head and your head clear again and freely searched ....
    It reminds me also not always easy, but the good things in people to see ... this is because, since they may also have a few good sites ... ...
    But now we want to think positive ... hugs.

  3. Yeah..when you don't have the magic pill to snap you out of a funk, it's good to have friends who will call you on it! AND its OK to be angry with the person who is hurting your friend...that is completely accepatable!

    I was having a rather shizzy day yesterday too. Amazing what a workout can do for the psyche!

  4. your gym shot is really cool! Gym works for heart, soul and fitness.

    I could understand your feeling to be angry with persons who are hurting your friends.

  5. Love the gym shot. I think I'm the opposite and am very slow to notice people's flaws. Maybe because I'm too focused on my own :-).

  6. Work-out really works for me when I'm in a bad mood. Somehow you can't think about anything but the training, and to let go of the negative thoughts for a while is often all it takes to get back to the happy me. =)
    Great picture


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