Sunday, June 15, 2008

Welcome To Wherever You Are

Todd and I went running at Miramar Lake yesterday morning. I decided to run for longer, so I went for 4 miles! Towards the end, this lady asked me to run with her to help push her until the end, because she was pooped out. So I did. This lady used to be an elite marathoner who ran 7:30 miles. Well, 15 years later and 30 lbs heavier, she was a lot slower. But I totally admire for her for keeping on! While listening to my iPod, I was totally struck by a song by Bon Jovi. It seemed like I'd never heard it before, but I probably have since I have the album! It spoke to me in a brand-new way. I really believe that sometimes the Lord speaks to me when I put my iPod on shuffle. Like last year when He comforted me after my mother's death with Steven Curtis Chapman's "With Hope". So yesterday I was moved by Bon Jovi's "Welcome To Wherever You Are". I just felt like God was saying, "it's okay that you've neglected me for a while. Just come back. I welcome you wherever you are." Welcome to Wherever You Are by Bon Jovi, from the album Have a Nice Day. Maybe we're different, but we're still the same We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins I know sometimes it's hard for you to see You come between just who you are and who you wanna be If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end [Chorus] Welcome to wherever you are This is your life, you made it this far Welcome, you gotta believe That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be Welcome, to wherever you are When everybody's in, and you're left out And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt Everyones a miracle in their own way Just listen to yourself, not what other people say When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down Remember everybody's different Just take a look around [Chorus] Be who you want to, be who you are Everyones a hero, everyones a star When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes [Chorus] Here's my iPod playlist that randomly came up during my run:
  • Belief - John Mayer
  • Everyday - Bon Jovi
  • Shadow - Britney Spears
  • Love Love Love - Tristan Prettyman
  • Welcome to Wherever You Are - Bon Jovi
  • The Other Side - Scissor Sisters
  • All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow
  • I Want to be Loved - Bon Jovi
  • Easy - Barenaked Ladies
  • Simple As It Should Be - Tristan Prettyman
  • This Is Your Life - Switchfoot
  • A Man and A Woman - U2
Eh eh? See what I mean about messages from my iPod?? After running, we came home and ate a vegetarian stir fry leftover that Todd made Friday night. Then we just lounged around with our laptop and books for the afternoon. We ate at a Persian restaurant in North Park for dinner. It was really good. We had been there with Sally once before. After dinner we went to Henry's and got a bunch of fruits and veggies and snacks. Man, the Henry's in North Park is so hip and cool. It must be because of the clientele. Then we headed to Sally & Brian's, where we were treated to Sally's homemade pear crisp and vanilla ice cream. Yum! After that we headed to Cinema Under the Stars and watched Alfred Hitchcock's The Man Who Knew Too Much, the 1956 version. It was pretty good, but I noticed that movies moved a lot slower back in those days, unlike the ADD movies we have now, where the action is so fast. Today is laundry and bill-paying and whatever other chores day. I feel a good day coming on!
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Monday, June 9, 2008

A Semblance of Normalcy

For the first time in over 2 weeks, I feel normal. And that's a good thing. Since mid-April, I'd been gradually weaning off the medication that I'd been taking for a year for panic attacks and anxiety. I hadn't had a panic attack since last May, so I told my doctor that I think it's time to wean off. He told me to take 1/4 of a pill for a month, then none. (I had been taking 1/2 pills.) So around Memorial Weekend I stopped taking the pills. Well, I'm in the 10% of people who suffered severe withdrawal symptoms. I've had a tension/migraine like headache for over 2 weeks. And dizziness and nausea. Here's a list of the symptoms I've had to endure. -some insomnia -extraordinarily vivid dreams -memory & concentration problems -an unconventional dizziness/vertigo -the feeling of shocks, similar to mild electric one, running the length of my body -head zaps -headaches -profuse sweating, esp. at night -breaking out in tears -hypersensitivity to motion & sound -nausea, vomiting -abdominal cramping -chills / hot flashes -tingling sensation in lower cheeks -sore eyes -fatigue -grinding of teeth -speech problems / inability to find the right word -heartburn/gastric reflux -muscle aches These are all documented withdrawal symptoms that I have. There are quite a few others that I didn't have. It's hard for me to imagine why this drug was approved by the FDA if going off of it is this difficult. It's literally disrupted over two weeks of my life. But FINALLY, I think I've turned the corner and I'm ready to face the world again. I woke up this morning without a headache for the first time in over two weeks. You probably have no idea how excited I am at this development. It has felt like hell.
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