Monday, July 20, 2009

Goals Part 3: People Are Worth It

Continuing on my series of posts evaluating my goals for this year... today I will discuss my Emotional/Social goals for living a balanced life. If you've missed it, I posted earlier last week on my physical/health goals, and my mental/intellectual/creative goals. I have a complicated relationship with people. I will fully admit that at times I get really frustrated with people. People disappoint me sometimes. To me, people are unpredictable. Often in my interactions with people, I can't control the outcome, thus it frustrates me. I also expect a lot from people, and this always leads to disappointment. Because one thing that we can count on is that people are fallible, even though I have a hard time accepting this fact. God is infallible. People are fallible. All that being said, I am people too. And because I belong in that people category, I am flawed as well. As flawed as we all are, we continue to have relationships with each other. We aren't made to be alone all the time. We need social interaction to enrich our lives. We need deeper emotional connections with others. I am blessed that I have a husband who is my best friend. He fulfills a lot of my emotional needs. But besides him, I do need to have some other friends. As I get older, I find it harder and harder to hit it off right off the bat with people I meet. I do think it's harder to make good friends when you get older. We bring more baggage to the table, LOL. When my mom passed away 2.5 years ago, I withdrew. I worked more from home instead of going to the office. I only hung out with a couple of close friends. I didn't feel like meeting new people. I felt that it was very taxing and exhausting to meet new people and make new friends. At the end of last year, I finally decided it wasn't the healthiest for me. I didn't want to FORGET how to talk to people! I didn't want to become an inflexible hermit who can't adjust to the give-and-take of forming friendships. So I came up with a list of goals to be more social this year.
  • Make two new friends. (Since I really only have three close friends, this was a tall order!)
  • Cultivate current friendships by calling/emailing regularly.
  • Call/visit dad & Joyce (my family).
  • Go to the office 3X per week.
  • Invite people over more regularly for dinners, movies, games, football, etc.
I think I've made some progress in this area. I expanded my social network by joining a running club. I've made it a point to do more things with my girlfriends. I've gone to the office at least 3X per week every week this year. I've gone back to after-work gym class, not just for the workouts, but I enjoy the company there. The kitchen remodel got in the way of inviting people over, but now that it's over, we're planning our social schedule with full force. Todd is holding up his end by introducing me to his friends from work and from Toastmasters. One unexpected source of friendship is from this blog and the internet. Before last year, I never dreamed of making friends with people I met on the internet. Now I can count a few scrappy women on my creative teams and a few who frequent this blog as true friends. They fulfill the emotional need for friendship as well, and I don't discount that at all. The remodel has also brought me further out of my shell. I mean, people were coming over to our house almost on a daily basis. I made it a point to get to know them, ask them questions about their life. I learned a lot about the art of conversation, and I think I'm better at it today than I was on January 1st. Making and keeping friends will continue to be something I work on, because it doesn't come easily or naturally to me. But I still try, despite some failures and frustrations. I guess in the end, I feel that people are worth it, despite all our flaws. :) Today's photo is of me and Rico, my 10 year old Honda Prelude. I've had him for TEN years! Photobucket Yes, it's a "him". And don't ask me why I gave him a latino name when he's obviously Japanese. There was no rhyme or reason. He's been so reliable, and despite his age, I still love him and hope that he lasts another five years, at least. Here we were in June 1999, when I first got him. (I had to find the photo and scan it in, LOL!) Photobucket I think we both look better with age, don't you? Heh heh. Oh! If you're a winner from yesterday, please email me at iamlistgirl at gmail dot com if you haven't already. I'll email you your Pixel Gypsy Designs $5 GC when I hear from you. Also, if you've "delurked" on this blog and emailed me there today, I've emailed you back too! I loved hearing from you!


  1. It´s a very interesting post Christine. And a lot of things I agree with and are the same in my own life.
    It´s great to see how you talk over such points and make your lists. Good idea to keep in mind.

    By the way Rico is a great guy!

  2. Totally agree with everything you've said in this post. When I start requiring the people in my life to meet the needs that Jesus should meet, that's when I get very disappointed. When I have all that balanced, looking to Christ first, my toleration level for the mere humans increases greatly! (and I'm not only able to tolerate them, but to love them as Christ does) Do I do this everyday? Nope. But, when I do, my days are much brighter. friends are way cool!

    Sweet ride! I love the's definitely you!

  3. Good for you for setting goals for yourself! What a great idea. Your blog is always such an interesting read. LOVE the car! My car is 6 years old but we are into transmission problems. :( The rust hasn't gotten to it yet but by 10 years we'll be seeing it for sure. Vehicles up here don't look as great as yours for long because of the salt on the winter roads. :( Love the then and now picture!

  4. Oh, I love the then/now picture with the car. Those are so great!
    And I am totally with you on the grief/withdrawal syndrome. I had the same thing happen with me. I finally just "backed away" from it one day and things got better. That said, I find that I'm constantly having to remind myself to put myself out there and meet new people. It doesn't come easy. I wonder why that is? Is it because of the hurt that comes with loosing someone you hold dear? Hmmm...
    Thanks for sharing your heart!!

  5. Wow! You and Rico haven't changed at all!!! :) I really appreciate your honest take on things and how you seem to have such a good grasp of what your strong points and short comings are but that instead of just lamenting on them you are actually being proactive about it and willing to step out of your comfort zone....we are ALWAYS growing...and people DO do certain relationships and it's cool that through it all you DO have your husband who IS your BF and Rock of support and you DO have a friends that you can truly count's not so much the quantity but the quality I are truly blessed if you can tell who those are! Thanks always for sharing your journey with us!

  6. You and Rico have held up very, very well. I'm jealous since I've aged right along with my car.

    I'm glad you set a goal to be more social because I've been one of the beneficiaries and am very happy to get to know you. You are a source of energy -- and you make me feel less guilty snapping photos whereever we go :-).


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