Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Thinking about heaven again

When my mom first passed away, I told my friend Susan at work that I was apprehensive about going into the office to work, because I was afraid that I'd cry during the day. Susan had lost her mother a few months before, so she said she had a set time everyday to cry. She'd cry in the shower in the morning before work. Then when she got to work, she was okay. For me, my time for crying seems to be when I drive to work. This seems less ideal. Sometimes when I get to work, I still have wet cheeks and my makeup seems a little bit smeared already. There's something about being by myself in my car, looking at the rolling hills and expansive sky (yes, I have a nice drive to work), listening to music I love… it triggers thoughts of my mom.

Today I thought about what heaven is like. I've always been curious about heaven, even before my mom got there. When our cat Pepe died, I really wanted to know if pets go to heaven. I know they don't have souls, but it seems that they spend a lot of time with us humans who do have souls. And since we love them, it made sense to me that they would go to heaven. Also, even though the earth is fallen, it is a somewhat imperfect reflection of heaven. And to my thinking, since God created animals, surely there would be animals in heaven. I also wondered if we eat in heaven. My pastor Ray Bentley loves to eat also, and he's said in sermons before that he believes that we do eat in heaven. We will have feasts. Since my mom's passing, I've also wondered what does it mean that we "recognize" each other in heaven? Do we have relationships with people we had relationships with on earth?

Pondering about heaven frustrates me. I won't know the answers for sure until I get there. Nobody's ever gone there and came back with a trip report. Researching it doesn't provide any definite answers. You can't google the answers, and wikipedia doesn't know. Then I realize that it all comes back to faith. I believe in the Bible and God's promises. Jesus went there to prepare a place for us. It is beyond anything we could ever imagine. Better than the beach house. Better than Thanksgiving dinner. Better than the prettiest sunset. Better than the biggest party with the most special of guests. Better than Buckeye football games. Better than running at the coast with the wind at my face, watching surfers take off on their boards. Often times when I'm having a really good experience, I wish my mom was around to enjoy it too. I feel like she's missing out. I just have to remember that whatever is the "best" that our current earthly experience has to offer, heaven is INFINITELY better. Mom is not missing out. She's having the time of her life, eternally. I can't wait to get there.


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