Go big or go home

I'm a big believer in giving it your all if you're going to do something. No sense doing something halfway. Go big or go home I say! If you give it your all and the end result turns out not what you expected, you can still say, "I gave it my all and I have no regrets". No woulda, shoulda, coulda. This applies, of course, to the bigger things in life. I'm not saying that I always get 100% of the smudges off the mirrors when I clean, or that it's imperative that things be perfect. Go big or go home on the big stuff. Like, if you really like someone, ask them out. Worst thing that could happen is they don't like you back, then you move on. At least you know. If it's your lifelong dream to travel somewhere, then go. Don't just sit around talking about it. I thought about this because in the latest episode of Veronica Mars, Piz, who has liked Veronica secretly since the beginning of the year, finally employed the "go big or go home" strategy. His friend Wallace had told him to "go all in", and not just sit around pining for Veronica. So at a party, when Veronica was trying to let Piz down easy, he scooped her face into his hands and gave her a big kiss. Then he walked out of the party. Wallace saw him walking out and said, "leaving already?" and Piz said, "yea, the night can't get any better. I went all in." At this point I was sitting on the couch sobbing, because that's what I do. He had given all his heart and "went all in", took the big risk. Despite the end result, he was satisfied. See what I mean?

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Live Life Inspired

A little over a year ago, I suddenly started receiving emails from Zondervan, a Christian publishing organization. I get a Daily Inspiration email and a NIV Daily Bible Verse email. I was perplexed because I didn't remember signing up for such emails, and it came in my "real" email address, not the one I use for shopping / signing up for lists. But I didn't stop the emails, because I enjoyed them and they helped me. Zondervan started a blog, so I went there and checked it out. As soon as I got there, I was delighted. The design and color schemes were simple and welcoming. And the title of the blog? "Live Life Inspired". Kinda describes how I feel about life, both spiritually and artistically. I like it! Then I scrolled down and found this post by Keith Finnegan, "Grieving With Hope", which floored me. It describes exactly that Steven Curtis Chapman song which surrendipitously played on my iPod that one day when I went running. I talked about it here a month ago. It's like God is steadily reassuring me of His hope as I go through the grief of losing my mom. God is SO good and amazing! Another obervation hit me this morning... I went running because I am SO close to a certain goal I had set for myself. (I will probably achieve the goal this Sat, so stay tuned.) I decided to reverse part of my regular route because I was lazy. My regular route had a big hill towards the end and I thought if I reversed that part, the run would be easier. I was wrong! All kinds of hills during the route surprised me. I've run this route many times and I had never noticed when I was going downhill. But in reverse, I sure noticed the UPHILL parts! As I struggled uphill for almost one kilometer, I thought to myself, "Why don't we ever notice the downhills and only the uphills?" Then I thought, this applies not only to running, but to our spiritual life as well. When things are going great for us and we're coasting downhill, we don't tend to stop and thank God for those moments. Then when things turn uphill and we're struggling a little bit, all of a sudden we notice and we go back to God and pray, give thanks, ask for strength, draw closer to Him. So my goal is to start noticing the "downhills" and enjoy them and thank God for them! :-)

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Thinking about heaven again

When my mom first passed away, I told my friend Susan at work that I was apprehensive about going into the office to work, because I was afraid that I'd cry during the day. Susan had lost her mother a few months before, so she said she had a set time everyday to cry. She'd cry in the shower in the morning before work. Then when she got to work, she was okay. For me, my time for crying seems to be when I drive to work. This seems less ideal. Sometimes when I get to work, I still have wet cheeks and my makeup seems a little bit smeared already. There's something about being by myself in my car, looking at the rolling hills and expansive sky (yes, I have a nice drive to work), listening to music I love… it triggers thoughts of my mom.

Today I thought about what heaven is like. I've always been curious about heaven, even before my mom got there. When our cat Pepe died, I really wanted to know if pets go to heaven. I know they don't have souls, but it seems that they spend a lot of time with us humans who do have souls. And since we love them, it made sense to me that they would go to heaven. Also, even though the earth is fallen, it is a somewhat imperfect reflection of heaven. And to my thinking, since God created animals, surely there would be animals in heaven. I also wondered if we eat in heaven. My pastor Ray Bentley loves to eat also, and he's said in sermons before that he believes that we do eat in heaven. We will have feasts. Since my mom's passing, I've also wondered what does it mean that we "recognize" each other in heaven? Do we have relationships with people we had relationships with on earth?

Pondering about heaven frustrates me. I won't know the answers for sure until I get there. Nobody's ever gone there and came back with a trip report. Researching it doesn't provide any definite answers. You can't google the answers, and wikipedia doesn't know. Then I realize that it all comes back to faith. I believe in the Bible and God's promises. Jesus went there to prepare a place for us. It is beyond anything we could ever imagine. Better than the beach house. Better than Thanksgiving dinner. Better than the prettiest sunset. Better than the biggest party with the most special of guests. Better than Buckeye football games. Better than running at the coast with the wind at my face, watching surfers take off on their boards. Often times when I'm having a really good experience, I wish my mom was around to enjoy it too. I feel like she's missing out. I just have to remember that whatever is the "best" that our current earthly experience has to offer, heaven is INFINITELY better. Mom is not missing out. She's having the time of her life, eternally. I can't wait to get there.

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Return of Veronica Mars

My favorite TV series, Veronica Mars on The CW Network, finally came back tonight with a new episode after a few weeks off. This show is smartly written, witty, funny, touching, and full of mystery and intrigue. This is the 3rd season and I'm afraid that it won't be renewed for a 4th season due to low ratings. Veronica Mars is filmed entirely in San Diego County. Interior scenes are filmed at Stu Segall Productions in Kearny Mesa, while exterior scenes are shot on location everywhere in San Diego. I had the opportunity to be in 4 episodes last year in season 2. It was really fun and the production crew and cast (and the food, heh) are all top notch. You should watch it. Or better yet, get season 1 & 2 DVD's (buy them cheap at deepdiscount.com, or get them from Netflix) and watch the mysteries unfold.

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Who broke the weather?

Today is yucky outside! Who broke the weather??? I was going to go outside for my 2 mile walk at lunch (cuz that's an extra 175 calories I can burn), but it was cold, damp, gray, and windy. So I didn't go. :-( What happened to the 85 degree summer weather we had this past weekend? Aloha Taylor the weather person on Fox 6 said it's going to be unseasonably cold all week. How can we celebrate Cinco de Mayo wearing scarves and long-johns?! On the upside (yes, there's always an upside), running outside is nice when it's cooler out. You can last a lot longer. So, I've been trying to lose 5 lbs but the scale hasn't budged yet. I'm stuck at 117.5 lbs. I've been doing squats, lunges, and upper-body weights, so I'm convinced that I've lost fat and gained muscles, even if the scale stayed the same. I look thinner... I think. Besides running & walking, I'm also doing one hour aerobics interval classes twice a week (at work, with a few women friends). So stay tuned... when I'm at my goal weight, I'll treat you all to ice cream!

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